playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
