i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
