i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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