And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
