Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i dont even know how to be here
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize