Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
