I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize