Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
honey bunches of taint.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
