Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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