Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize