Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
