I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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