I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
