You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
