What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I need moral support for this bender
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Randomize
