Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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