he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
