So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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