You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have tasted many bathrooms
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
