Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
