I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Randomize
