When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
