I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
