How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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