I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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