What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
