I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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