Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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