Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Did you just see the Batmobile???
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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