why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
