My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
