I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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