I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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