so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize