A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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