Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
