I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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