Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

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(217): View more from Illinois

You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk

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(914): View more from New York

he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will

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(519): View more from Ontario

My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!

Fav 6 2102 884
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(319): View more from Iowa

Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?

Fav 7 2428 844
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(201): View more from New Jersey

And here I thought that was one nut sack too many

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(315): View more from New York

It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.

Fav 0 34 19
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