Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
