Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
