we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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