I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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