HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I touched a dick in church today
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize