i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
