North Korea, Best Korea!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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