So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
