She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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