quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
