just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
