what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
