It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Drake has all the answers
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
