remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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