i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
