Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize