What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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