Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
