wrigley field is MILF paradise
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize