Just mADE A PArabola og urine
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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