Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
