May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I would ride that face into the sunset
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
