we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I have tasted many bathrooms
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
