I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
only if we run a train.
done.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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