So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
