Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
