six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
