That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
