We talked him into tasing himself.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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