I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
