she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
