with your own penis?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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