Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i now understand why vodka
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
