That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
